Don't You Dare
by Overlord Rousdower
Summary: Being alone for hundreds of years can do things to your head. Thaunâris knows this for a fact. Spending her days tormenting the rangers of Ithilien, she faces a sudden change when she finds herself in the dungeons of the Dark Lord… Poor Sauron. And he thought Melkor was annoying? Ha. Possible Sauron/OC? *title subject to change*


**Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings. That belongs to the Esteemed Professor.**

 **The cover art is a picture by Phobs! I don't like their ship, but the art is amazing! This is forever and always how I will see Sauron XD**

The leaves of the trees were slowly turning darker, and one by one falling to the ground. The air in Ithilien grew constantly colder, as winter drew ever closer. Neithan, captain of the Rangers of Ithilien, leant back on his heels as he slowly drew his gaze over the land.

"Have you seen her?"

Neithan turned his head towards his second in command. "I have not seen her for a few weeks."

"You mean since she dumped the water on your head and called you an 'unobservant fool'?"

Neithan scowled. "I'd rather not recall…"

The other man sniggered, though it was quickly silenced by Neithan's dark look.

"The Ghost only shows herself when she's bored," Neithan said. "Next time anyone sees her, be prepared for a prank of some sort."

"Remember the time she soaked your pillow and then put it back?"

Neithan rolled his eyes. "I'd rather not recall that either."

"Or the time she threw a live squirrel at Anthre? He still has scratches from that…" More sniggering. Neithan smiled faintly.

"Ow!" Neithan looked down at the pinecone lying innocently in front of him.

"Agh!" He looked over to the other man, who was holding the side of his face.

Neithan whipped his face to the nearest pine tree and glared at it. "Cease this immediately, Ghost!"

"Why couldn't you call me something interesting?"

Neithan threw himself sideways and stared fearfully up at the branch above him. What appeared to be a young woman was hanging upside down from the branch, arms crossed, and her hair starting to fall out of it's bun and dangling around her face. Upon closer observation, a pair of pointed ears poked through the chestnut mess. So it _was_ an elf. The rumors were true…

"I mean, even 'Spectre' would have been preferable, but noooooo… you call me 'Ghost'." She glared sullenly at them. Her hand reached behind her back and both Neithan and the soldier put their hands on their swords. They had barely wrapped their hands around the hilts before both of them got a pinecone to the face.

"I would rather be called 'the Squirrel Queen' than 'Ghost'!" her voice called from somewhere in the branches above. More pinecones were pelted at them and they put their arms over their heads.

"Have you been storing up for winter, like good little ants?" she spoke, from behind them this time. They warily turned around and were met with nothing but the scenery.

"Oh wait! You have a whole fortress full of food, haha. Silly me."

"Ghost-"

"Squirrel Queen!"

Neithan looked extremely confused.

"I've decided if I am to receive a name from you, then you'll call me something worthy. I have chosen Squirrel Queen, and Squirrel Queen I shall be."

Neithan rolled his eyes. He was _not_ calling anyone 'Squirrel Queen'. "Well, you are obviously not a ghost, and… the name you have chosen is rather long… perhaps you could share your true name?"

There was silence.

"Nah."

"May I ask why not?"

"I forgot it," she said flippantly, hopping down to stand in front of them. She was tall, taller than him by at least three or four inches. Her chestnut brown was composed of wild curls, tied back with a leather band, her pointed ears just barely visible and her brown eyes seeming to laugh at him. She was dressed in a ragged looking tunic, tied with several different belts, pouches of assorted sizes were hanging, most of them looking rather full. Her boots reached up to her knees and were lined with a dark grey fur, probably raccoon. Tossed over her shoulder was a cloak that she must have removed before she decided to antagonize him.

"You… forgot? Do you-"

He was interrupted.

"No, I forgot on purpose." She frowned.

"On purpose?"

"Yes.. Anyways, I suppose Squirrel Queen is rather long.. I'll have get back to you on that."

A sharp pain hit Neithan across the face once more, and by the sound the soldier beside him made, he guessed he had been hit as well.

"I love pinecones!" Neithan heard her laugh as he opened his eyes, and as expected, she was nowhere to be seen.

oOo

A few days later, Neithan was poking at the beginnings of a fire as his men were finding something to eat.

"Thaunârhis."

Neithan reacted violently to the voice, his arm jerking and his stick flying through the air. He wheeled around and stared in shock at the elf woman who had been tormenting him ever since he had set foot in Ithilien. As he stared at her, he remembered when he had thought her a myth. Those were the days… no wet pillows, no squirrels- he flinched as he felt a thud on his head.

…No pinecones.

She laughed at his expression. "You can call me Thaunârhis." She stopped, quiet for a moment, before grinning deviously as she put her hands on her hips. "Thaunâris," she said with a decisive nod.

Neithan eyed her warily, before deciding to be polite. "Would you like some food?"

"What food?"

"My men are hunting now. You are welcome to sit with me until they return." He didn't expect her to agree, and was shocked when she actually plopped down next to him.

"Don't mind if I do," she sighed.

Neithan raised an eyebrow and they lapsed into silence.

"So, do you live here?"

She gave him a non-verbal affirmative.

"How long?"

"Oh, I don't know. Since before you came. Couple of centuries maybe?"

Neithan looked at her surprised.

"Alone?" he asked.

"Well, there's you, and you Rangers. They've been around for the majority, if not all the time. It's a little hazy really. I don't care to recall those times."

"Like your name?"

"Like my name." She smirked.

"Do you ever visit-"

"No." Something in her tone told Neithan not to venture any further on the subject.

They were quiet for a few more minutes.

"I'm sure you've noticed the extra activity from Gate," he ventured.

"Oh yes. I hate those things," Thaunâris muttered.

Neithan nodded. "They're up to something."

Thaunâris sat up a bit straighter. "You're men are here." Neithan looked around, but didn't see or hear anything. A few minutes later the four men patrolling with him came into sight, two of them lugging a deer over their shoulders. They froze when the saw the elf sitting nonchalantly by their captain. Neithan gave them a nod and the resumed their course towards the fire, slinging the deer down a short distance away, and taking out their knives.

Thaunâris grinned over at Neithan. "I think we're going to be good friends," she chuckled. Neithan smiled weakly. Hopefully her definition of 'friends' meant no more pinecones to the head.

 **A/N: I've done it again.**

 **I have posted another story.**

 **o_o**

 **I can't stop myself. This idea has been in my head for MONTHS AND I JUST *table flip of rage* I have also crossed a line I think… I mean… there's like four Sauron/OC fics. Not that this will definitely be that, but I think so far it will be… Maybe. I don't know.**

 **o_o**

 **TRUST ME.**

 **YOU MIGHT LIKE IT.**

 **IF YOU LIKED A SECOND CHANCE, YOU'LL LIKE THIS.**

 **PROBABLY.**

 **AND YOU.**

 **WUNDERKIND.**

 **YEAH YOU, WITH THE CAPYBARA.**

 ***points***

 **STAHP ENCOURAGING ME. *stares accusingly at entire list of plots that you have told me were good ideas* *narrows eyes and points sceptre* STAHP.**

 ***sigh* I won't abandon any of my other stories. Updates for this one will be semi-frequent (due to the twelve other stories I am writing -_-).**

 **Ok.**

 ***cries in corner***

 **I'm so gonna get it…**

 **Overlord Rousdower out_ *and fearing* *disappears in orange smoke***


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